I own a lot of stuff.
Let me be clear, I own a lot of stuff that means a lot to me but others may think of it as trivial.
Frankly, I don’t give a &*%$ what others think of what I consider cool.
As readers of my weekly rants are aware, I collect GI Joe, Captain Action and Best Of The West action figures.
I also collect Barbie.
Yes-I’m a 6 foot 2 inch Black man from the hood and I collect Barbie dolls.
Like I said, I don’t give a *&%# what others think of what I consider cool.
Barbie’s are cool.
People often ask me why I collect Barbie dolls.
This is that story…
My sister and I were mortal enemies. She was four years older than me so that made her my big sister and made me her little brother.
Her-rotten little brother.
Yeah-I was a rotten little mofo when it came to my sister. In school I was a class clown at home I was well behaved and never gave my mother any trouble…well except for that one time in 7th grade when I dropped a fire extinguisher out the 3rd floor of my school window.
That was a wee bit of a problem for her…and a bigger problem for my butt after my mother kicked it. Yes, my mother hit me as a child. I know that today some would consider that child abuse but back in the day it was called parenting. I’ve said it once I’ll say it again; in my house ‘time out’ meant ‘time to get your *** kicked.’
Ever noticed how you never see any Black kids on those nanny shows that feature kids losing their minds, talking back or even hitting their parents?
I’ll tell you why you don’t see Black kids on those shows-because the second they talked back they are smacked upside the head and the moment they hit their mom or dad they were shot.
Really.
Time out, my ***.
It was my job as a rotten little brother to terrorize my sister Sharon and I was damn good at my job. If you think I’m a *** now, you should have seen me at 8 years old.
Super ***. Which by the way is my porn star name.
Really.
My sister and I shared a room until I was 8. The first thing Sharon did when she got her own room was set up her Barbie collection and she had quite the collection. The first thing I did was set up my Captain Action and GI Joe’s because as much as I would never admit it Sharon’s collection looked very cool and I wanted the same thing for my room.
Except that my room never looked as cool as Sharon’s room. Somehow my set up looked crappy and hers look cool as ***. Year’s later I realized that the reason her Barbie set up looked so cool was because she had a Barbie Dream Home.
A freakin Barbie Dream Home.
What did I have? A GI Joe footlocker. It’s impossible to make your Joes look cool hanging around a g****** footlocker. It wasn’t a home; it was a place to lock your Joe’s up for the night. I tried everything to make my Joes look as cool as her Barbie’s but nothing seemed to work.
Sharon had a Barbie dream house I had a GI Joe homeless shelter.
Sooooo, one day I decided that my Joe’s should visit the dream house.
While my sister was out I lead a raid on the dream home. I’m sad to say that my Joe’s had their way with Barbie, Skipper and yes…Ken.
Now I feel I should be arrested for murder and rape but at 8 years old I felt that I had taught Barbie a lesson.
When the raiding party left and my sister returned this is what she saw; Barbie’s were all over the place. Some missing clothes, some missing accessories some missing limbs, many missing heads.
It was Barbie Jonestown. The only thing missing was the Kool-Aid.
I thought my sister would be livid. She wasn’t. She just sat on her bed and cried. Which **** me up but good.
There would be no more raids on the dream house.
Years later, my sister died a horrible death. That really ****** me up. To better remember her one-day I brought a Barbie.
I’m been buying them ever since.
I own a lot of Barbie’s, I like them all, some more than others but up until the other day I could not point to an absolute favorite.
I can now and it’s not a Barbie and Mattel does not make it.
It’s a Sharon doll and it’s made by Chynadoll Creations. It was hand made especially for me by the owner of the company Cecile Cowan- Willamson.
How incredibly cool is that?
You know what’s even cooler than that?  The Sharon doll is named after my sister and is wearing a Barbie designer dress.
Ultra cool!
But wait-there’s more…
Cecile Willamson is wait for it…wait for it…my best friend’s sister!
TOO F******* COOL!
I own a lot of stuff and the Sharon doll created by Cecile is now my all time favorite thing that I own.
You can find Chynadoll Creations at: http://www.facebook.com/Chynas.doll
You can find Cecile forever in my heart.